list no. 1: the best.

in my busy life, the only thing that matters is the superlatives so i've always been fond of making lists. here is the first of many. you know, i am pretty inconsistent when it comes to likin' things. i like my petrus wine alright; but there's no finer filet than a chick-fil-a. my taste is called into question all the time by bitches and frankly there's just no explaining it. so here, for the information of the internet, is the finest selections from several categories:

animals:

the fennec fox takes the cake here. look how cute he is! he is by far the world's best animal. you can have them as pets too but they dig like motherfuckers so i can't have one. i have wanted one since my friend brought them to my attenton and perhaps this is why i got my papillon dog, because, story of my life, phillip, he was the next best thing.

apparently they sit on your shoulder like a parrot while you walk around the house.

look at his nose! he is so sweet.

city:

new orleans, but only in the french quarter and only at night and only when it's wet and only when there are lights on, like in this picture here. i haven't been too many places because usually when it came to vacation time my brother and i would demand disneyworld, year after year, often multiple times a year. but i know alot about places and i know i'm always right and new orleans, night, wet, and lights, is the best.

food:

oh no! this is the worst. probably the best food, with all considerations considered, is french onion soup, when it's slightly burned. i make this about once a month and the best recipe is les halles's version, http://www.chow.com/recipes/10006, minus the bacon and 'bouquet garni' whatever the f that is and simmered for a minimum of 4 hours. i've had better things, but none that i am capable of cooking (fuck you and the horse you rode in on, thomas keller.) so this wins.

clothings:

i can't pull this off anymore but i used to be able to. maison martin margiela wasn't something i was aware of when it was a possibility but maybe one day it will be again. i'd definitely be the raddest mom at the preschool, showing up like this with a nat sherman black and gold hanging out of my mouth. i would spit at the other moms who suggest things to me like 'enroll lily in a gymboree class'.

conversely, i also am very fond of old 50's housewife a-line dresses and wore them while i was an apartment wife. my wedding dress was a dior dress of this manner.

currently: i am not digging this year's fashion shows (save MMM, but just for the aesthetic value), nor have i for a while. i am not down with the skinny jeans unless you do them really, REALLy skinny. but it's probably just because i have really big calves.

alcohol:

there are better beers but none for this price or widespread availibility. and wine just isn't as good. if it were socially acceptable and didn't make me chunky, i would have one of these in my hand all the time. if i were an action figure, this would be one of my accessories, along with turkey leg and sombrero.

car:

everyday i wake up wondering if today will be the day that i buy one of these things and then i realize it's not becasue i can't afford an old 280 se like this one. but if i could, today would be that day. i actually prefer the rolls royce cornice 2, but i can't bring myself to lust after anything british.

i would write more but formatting these stupid pictures is giving me a headache, man.